I'm new to blogging. I guess as I sit here on my computer at 2 a.m. I am just looking for new ways to deal with the stuff I am going through. Here is some background, I am 20 years old in University. I have commitement issues with men, in the sense that I always seem to be unfaithful to my boyfriends, are rarely feel guilty for it. I am not unfaithful with random people. I am unfaithful with past boyfriends, or good friends. I am issues with anxiety that I have been working on for several years now. I also have very hard time trusting girls.
I am really surprised at myself for giving such an honest description. Sometimes its hard to admit what you really feel or think about something. I feel like ever since I turned something along the ages of 12 I have been in this incessant emotional turmoil that just seems never ending. Now as I sit here a week before my 21st birthday I am wondering if I have really come that far. I still have no idea whether or not guys are interested in me, am extremely insecure about my appearance and cannot trust a girl for the life of me. Sure, things have happened to support these things, but I wonder why I cannot just shake them, especially when my head knows the truth but somehow my heart's opinion just seem to take over every time.
I guess the purpose of my writing this blog is to get this out there, and somehow see if anyone else out there feels just as lost as I do. Why is it that I cant stay with a guy and be happy with him? I guess thats enough for now.
Good night
